1
00:00:09,509 --> 00:00:13,221
[Archer] Whoo! Rocket pack!

2
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,890
You know how much fuel you just wasted?

3
00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:18,685
I don't know.
How much paint did Michelangelo "waste"

4
00:00:18,768 --> 00:00:19,811
on the Sistine Chapel?

5
00:00:19,894 --> 00:00:23,481
Yeah, but when Mikey ran out of paint,
he didn't die in space.

6
00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:26,276
Well, let's just cross that bridge
when we never ever cross it

7
00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:27,861
because it doesn't exist.

8
00:00:27,944 --> 00:00:29,404
-Would you just trace the--
-[beeping]

9
00:00:29,487 --> 00:00:31,740
Shut up, Lana.
I'm trying to trace the signal.

10
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:33,700
And it's right...

11
00:00:33,783 --> 00:00:34,909
-[rapid beeping]
-...there!

12
00:00:34,993 --> 00:00:37,412
[Lana] Nanotube-reinforced reactor grid.

13
00:00:37,495 --> 00:00:41,541
Man, if we can re-tune that, it'll sell
for 18 months of operating costs.

14
00:00:41,624 --> 00:00:44,627
And, more importantly,
a sizable bonus for us.

15
00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:46,671
-[beep]
-[Malory on speaker] First off, no.

16
00:00:46,755 --> 00:00:49,382
We badly need a restock of Gran Classico.

17
00:00:49,841 --> 00:00:51,551
Second... [liquid pouring]

18
00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:56,723
And third, Cyril's picked up a--
What was it?

19
00:00:56,806 --> 00:01:00,393
I've got a class D ship
on a hyperbolic intercept orbit!

20
00:01:00,477 --> 00:01:01,436
Yes, that.

21
00:01:01,519 --> 00:01:02,562
It's right there!

22
00:01:02,645 --> 00:01:03,897
[Lana] For the thousandth time,

23
00:01:03,980 --> 00:01:05,774
we can't see you pointing!

24
00:01:05,857 --> 00:01:08,318
And why wasn't that the first thing?

25
00:01:08,401 --> 00:01:10,612
[Malory] Because I said
two other things first?

26
00:01:10,695 --> 00:01:12,238
All right. We've trained for this.

27
00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:14,491
Cyril, on guns. We need cover.

28
00:01:14,574 --> 00:01:15,408
On it.

29
00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:17,410
Krieger, spool up hyperspace drive.

30
00:01:17,494 --> 00:01:18,536
-[button clicks]
-Spooling!

31
00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:19,871
Cheryl, get to your fighter.

32
00:01:19,954 --> 00:01:21,081
Lame!

33
00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:23,041
Ray, you're still useless.

34
00:01:23,124 --> 00:01:24,042
You know...

35
00:01:24,125 --> 00:01:27,796
Pam, swoop in with the gig,
lasso the grid, and tow it to the ship.

36
00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:30,381
Pam? Pam!

37
00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:32,967
-[Pam snoring]
-[Archer shouting] Pam!

38
00:01:33,301 --> 00:01:34,385
[farts]

39
00:01:34,469 --> 00:01:36,763
[Pam] What? I'm right fricking here!

40
00:01:36,846 --> 00:01:39,516
I don't know.
Maybe we got attacked by scavengers,

41
00:01:39,599 --> 00:01:42,685
barely got out with the power core,
and-- Oh, right!

42
00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:44,854
I ran out of fuel and almost died!

43
00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:46,689
Something about a bridge...

44
00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:48,858
Who am I, Santiago Calatrava?

45
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:50,360
-The shortstop?
-No.

46
00:01:50,443 --> 00:01:51,986
That's what I'm gonna call my foot

47
00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:56,032
when it's gracefully
yet powerfully suspended up your ass!

48
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:57,951
Look, I feel terrible, guys.

49
00:01:58,034 --> 00:01:59,202
No more mistakes!

50
00:01:59,285 --> 00:02:01,412
I'll be the perfect crew member
from now on.

51
00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:03,748
Which is why you skipped the debriefing?

52
00:02:03,832 --> 00:02:05,583
I said from now on.

53
00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:07,877
And came directly to the mess hall?

54
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:10,505
-I eat my feelings?
-Amongst everything.

55
00:02:10,588 --> 00:02:11,756
[scoffs] Don't be a dick.

56
00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:14,342
Why would he possibly stop now?

57
00:02:14,425 --> 00:02:16,511
[chuckles]
It's kind of a big part of my draw.

58
00:02:16,594 --> 00:02:18,805
Look, I just came down here
to get a leftover sandwich

59
00:02:18,888 --> 00:02:20,598
from that time we were on Toba Station.

60
00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:22,433
Dibs! Dibs, dibs, dibs, dibs, dibs!

61
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:26,646
Where are you, you beautiful--

62
00:02:26,729 --> 00:02:28,523
[growling]

63
00:02:28,606 --> 00:02:30,483
[snarling]

64
00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:32,152
[screaming]

65
00:02:32,235 --> 00:02:34,404
-[snarling]
-[all screaming]

66
00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:37,824
-[objects clattering]
-[grunting, snarling]

67
00:02:39,242 --> 00:02:41,578
What the hell was that?

68
00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:44,414
[clears throat] That would be my sandwich.

69
00:02:46,541 --> 00:02:49,544
[theme music playing]

70
00:03:24,579 --> 00:03:26,456
[Malory] What do we know about it?

71
00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:28,374
Well, apparently,
it's allergic to compliments.

72
00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:29,876
And ate all our food.

73
00:03:29,959 --> 00:03:32,045
The food? But that's what we eat!

74
00:03:32,128 --> 00:03:33,796
-Where did it come from?
-[Pam] Well,

75
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:36,633
originally it was a sandwich
from Toba Station.

76
00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:39,260
See, you eat it
while it's alive and struggling,

77
00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:42,555
but it was definitely dead
when I finished. It must've regenerated.

78
00:03:42,639 --> 00:03:44,182
Be that as it may!

79
00:03:44,265 --> 00:03:46,434
We need a plan
before this gets out of hand.

80
00:03:46,517 --> 00:03:49,812
It laid eggs! Weird gross eggs!

81
00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:52,065
-[sighs]
-Cool! Let me see!

82
00:03:52,148 --> 00:03:54,025
-Uh, how many?
-I don't know!

83
00:03:54,108 --> 00:03:55,526
They're everywhere!

84
00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:58,947
So we've got an alien on board
that's multiplying, no food,

85
00:03:59,030 --> 00:04:01,658
and scavengers might still be tracking us.

86
00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:04,994
Anyone have an idea
that doesn't involve us dying in space?

87
00:04:05,995 --> 00:04:07,330
I vote dying.

88
00:04:07,413 --> 00:04:09,832
Archer, Lana, you go find this thing.

89
00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:12,168
Gillette, Cheryl, gather
all the scraps of food that are left

90
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,087
to see if we can make the next spaceport.

91
00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:17,173
Krieger, study the eggs.
Try to find a weakness.

92
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:20,134
Cyril, Ms. Archer,
keep scanning for those scavengers.

93
00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:22,929
Now if you'll excuse me,
I have to stride somewhere.

94
00:04:23,012 --> 00:04:24,389
With purpose.

95
00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:27,517
Wow.

96
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:31,187
Now, I wanna say that's dumb
because, well, Pam.

97
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,439
-Yeah, but that's...
-Actually...

98
00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:35,191
...a good idea.

99
00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:39,946
So, if I were to hypothetically suss out
the military applications of--

100
00:04:40,029 --> 00:04:42,532
Okay, yes, I see by your faces, yes.

101
00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:44,075
Got it! Won't do that!

102
00:04:44,826 --> 00:04:47,120
[whispers] We're going to have
such adventures together!

103
00:04:47,203 --> 00:04:48,997
Yeah, that won't come back to haunt us.

104
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:50,498
I'll keep an eye on him.

105
00:04:50,581 --> 00:04:52,625
And just kill that thing, Sterling,

106
00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:55,670
before Krieger uses it
to mutate us all into...

107
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:58,798
let's say, space goo?

108
00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:02,010
I vote space goo.

109
00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:05,805
-So, are you gonna--
-Shh! Shut. Shut your mouth.

110
00:05:05,888 --> 00:05:10,226
I will not let you ruin this for me
like you have so many other times.

111
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,020
[exhales]

112
00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:15,273
I... am... ready.

113
00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:17,900
-[headphones: music plays]
-[clicking]

114
00:05:21,237 --> 00:05:22,238
[clanging]

115
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:23,740
[beeping]

116
00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:25,658
Ya done?

117
00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:28,453
[shouting] What? I don't know
how to do the volume on this thing.

118
00:05:28,536 --> 00:05:30,371
[louder] I said, ya done?

119
00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:31,331
-Oh, got it.
-[clicks]

120
00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:32,457
-[music stops]
-I think so.

121
00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:34,709
There's nothing left,
and also I can barely move.

122
00:05:34,792 --> 00:05:36,669
And that's gonna help you
catch this thing how?

123
00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:39,464
All of this, Lana, is totally necessary!

124
00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:41,549
-[groaning]
-[clang]

125
00:05:41,632 --> 00:05:43,259
-[groaning]
-[clang]

126
00:05:43,342 --> 00:05:45,386
[panting] Actually, let's see where it is.

127
00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:47,680
I only have another seven,
eight steps in me.

128
00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:48,723
[beeping]

129
00:05:48,806 --> 00:05:50,975
Huh. This says it's within two meters.

130
00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:52,769
Which would only make sense if--

131
00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:55,229
Oh, screw you, two-dimensional display.

132
00:05:55,313 --> 00:05:57,315
[low growling]

133
00:05:58,733 --> 00:05:59,609
[screaming]

134
00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:01,069
[screaming stops]

135
00:06:01,152 --> 00:06:04,113
-[Archer laughing]
-[creature licking]

136
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:05,448
Hey! Hey!

137
00:06:05,531 --> 00:06:06,949
Lana, it's friendly!

138
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:10,036
Also laying gross eggs.
Pretty much constantly.

139
00:06:10,119 --> 00:06:11,954
And the cloaca blooms!

140
00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:16,334
[Malory] And what does that mean
other than that you now have a sideline

141
00:06:16,417 --> 00:06:18,336
in Georgia O'Keefe sculptures?

142
00:06:18,419 --> 00:06:20,671
The eggs contain self-healing DNA.

143
00:06:20,755 --> 00:06:24,592
If I can isolate it,
I might unlock the secret of regeneration.

144
00:06:25,009 --> 00:06:27,553
[laughs] And they called me mad.

145
00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:28,888
-Who did?
-Huh?

146
00:06:28,971 --> 00:06:30,765
Oh, I guess I just assumed.

147
00:06:30,848 --> 00:06:32,225
Safe bet.

148
00:06:33,476 --> 00:06:35,561
So, do you want the bad news?

149
00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:36,771
Or the what?

150
00:06:36,854 --> 00:06:39,273
Uh, there is no other news.

151
00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:41,859
Then why did you ask?

152
00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:42,985
Rhetorical effect?

153
00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:46,989
Well, it stopped us in our tracks, Cicero,
so mark it as ineffective.

154
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:49,826
Look, we don't have enough food
to make it to the nearest spaceport.

155
00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:53,246
Even if we carefully rationed out
the scraps here, we still wouldn't have--

156
00:06:53,329 --> 00:06:54,497
[objects clattering]

157
00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:57,708
-[munching]
-[chuckles] He's incorrigible.

158
00:06:57,792 --> 00:06:58,668
Damn it, Archer!

159
00:06:58,751 --> 00:07:01,629
What? He said there wasn't enough food
to make it to spaceport.

160
00:07:01,712 --> 00:07:04,841
Nothing's changed!
So I accept your apology.

161
00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:05,758
[Cheryl] Ooh!

162
00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:09,011
It's starting. We'll tear ourselves apart
with suspicion and doubt

163
00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:11,347
and then eat each other!
I call first dibs!

164
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,099
To eat or be eaten?

165
00:07:13,182 --> 00:07:14,600
Whatever. I'm not picky.

166
00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:17,395
Better sharpen those chompers.

167
00:07:17,478 --> 00:07:19,689
I am so confused by your tone.

168
00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:21,691
[sultry] Me too.

169
00:07:21,774 --> 00:07:24,026
-[Krieger] It may not come to that.
-Ugh!

170
00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:24,944
Using the egg,

171
00:07:25,027 --> 00:07:28,156
I may have found a way
to regenerate our cells as we starve!

172
00:07:28,239 --> 00:07:29,449
It won't be pleasant...

173
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:32,118
-But?
-No, I was done.

174
00:07:32,201 --> 00:07:35,538
Let me guess. There's a chance
it'll turn us into space goo?

175
00:07:35,621 --> 00:07:37,248
No! Well, yes.

176
00:07:37,331 --> 00:07:39,500
Actually, it's pretty likely.
How did you know that?

177
00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:42,086
Because it's always space goo with you.

178
00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:43,463
Well, not just that.

179
00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:44,672
We should eat the eggs.

180
00:07:44,755 --> 00:07:47,008
Oh, these hook-covered,
evil-smelling pus sacks

181
00:07:47,091 --> 00:07:50,261
that just happen to be the property
of my new best friend?

182
00:07:50,344 --> 00:07:52,680
But they make you feel amazing!

183
00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:54,849
[all groaning]

184
00:07:54,932 --> 00:07:56,767
But you didn't even know
we were out of food.

185
00:07:56,851 --> 00:07:58,394
So when did you start eating those?

186
00:07:58,478 --> 00:07:59,812
Pretty much immediately.

187
00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:01,439
[munching]

188
00:08:01,522 --> 00:08:02,773
[creature whimpers]

189
00:08:05,776 --> 00:08:08,029
[Archer] So, not to start this off
on the wrong foot,

190
00:08:08,112 --> 00:08:10,072
but I'm thinking of eating your feet.

191
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:13,117
When I said we had to consider
our options, this is not what I meant.

192
00:08:13,201 --> 00:08:15,411
Well, I didn't hear
anyone else suggesting anything!

193
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,913
Because you told me to shut up!

194
00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:18,706
And here you are talking.

195
00:08:18,789 --> 00:08:21,792
I meant something that leaves us
with the right number of feet!

196
00:08:21,876 --> 00:08:25,171
Lana, it's offensive to call it
"the right number of feet"

197
00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:28,299
when those lacking limbs
are valuable members of society.

198
00:08:28,382 --> 00:08:29,634
Hey, yeah!

199
00:08:29,717 --> 00:08:31,552
It's also why you should
let me eat your feet.

200
00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:33,179
This seems productive.

201
00:08:33,262 --> 00:08:35,139
Shouldn't you be scanning?

202
00:08:35,223 --> 00:08:36,599
I think Cyril's on that.

203
00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:39,018
-Not on that.
-And clean yourselves up!

204
00:08:39,101 --> 00:08:40,811
You go a few days without food,

205
00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:43,689
and suddenly you look like
a pack of Okies matted with...

206
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:45,733
wet dirt.

207
00:08:45,816 --> 00:08:49,278
Uh, it's called mud, and why is it
that you don't care about starving?

208
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,864
Oh, I've trained myself
to live on a liquid diet.

209
00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:54,408
I guess that's the upside of having blood
that's basically formaldehyde.

210
00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:56,744
So, you're essentially pre-embalmed.

211
00:08:56,827 --> 00:08:58,329
Okay, look, we're all hungry.

212
00:08:58,412 --> 00:09:03,125
Let's just calm down and stop insulting
Mother until I think of a really good one.

213
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:04,377
I'll mark my calendar.

214
00:09:04,460 --> 00:09:06,379
[creature snoring]

215
00:09:06,462 --> 00:09:08,464
Aww, look. It's dreaming.

216
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:12,218
Shouldn't we try eating these eggs?
I mean, before we drown in them?

217
00:09:12,301 --> 00:09:13,219
Not yet!

218
00:09:13,302 --> 00:09:17,765
Krieger says they're loaded with all sorts
of crazy chemicals and God knows what.

219
00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:20,226
-Pam seems okay.
-[chuckles] Does she?

220
00:09:20,601 --> 00:09:22,395
[hums a military tune]

221
00:09:22,478 --> 00:09:23,896
-[beeping]
-[buttons clicking]

222
00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:28,192
Pow-pow-pow-pow-pah!

223
00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:30,444
Anyhoo, just hang tight.

224
00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:32,280
Krieger might have something soon,

225
00:09:32,363 --> 00:09:35,074
and for God's sake, show some restraint!

226
00:09:35,157 --> 00:09:36,909
[piano keys pounding]

227
00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:38,953
I must be pretty hungry.
Now I'm hearing things.

228
00:09:39,036 --> 00:09:40,746
-Uh, that's not imaginary.
-Good.

229
00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:42,957
'Cause I was about
to kick my imagination's ass

230
00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:44,834
for having terrible taste.

231
00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:45,751
What is that?

232
00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:48,963
Sounds like a piano
double-crossed the Yakuza.

233
00:09:52,341 --> 00:09:54,343
♪ [Ray] Struck oil from the start ♪

234
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:56,429
♪ But the real land you stole
Was in my-- ♪

235
00:09:56,512 --> 00:09:58,180
Please don't say "heart."

236
00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:01,225
Start-heart is the lyrical equivalent
of light-beige.

237
00:10:01,309 --> 00:10:02,518
What is all this here then?

238
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,478
Hey, remember when you said I was useless?

239
00:10:04,562 --> 00:10:06,814
Honestly, no, but it does sound like me.

240
00:10:06,897 --> 00:10:10,568
"All this here then" is me finally finding
my true purpose in life.

241
00:10:10,651 --> 00:10:13,529
-Didn't you come out, like, years ago?
-[scoffs] Yeah, there's more to me

242
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,281
-than my sexuality.
-Eh.

243
00:10:15,364 --> 00:10:17,700
For example, my love of musical theater.

244
00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:19,535
And that's distinct from--

245
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,537
-[smacks]
-[creature growls]

246
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,623
I'm writing what I always dreamed of.

247
00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:26,792
A rock musical
about the Teapot Dome Scandal.

248
00:10:26,876 --> 00:10:28,961
-That is the worst idea--
-Let me finish!

249
00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:32,131
-With some hip-hop elements.
-I stand corrected.

250
00:10:32,214 --> 00:10:34,008
Please tell me it's not called
"Off the Dome."

251
00:10:34,091 --> 00:10:35,801
Why? Do you not like that?

252
00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:38,095
Well, I'm proud of you
for pursuing your dream.

253
00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:39,889
Thank you very much.

254
00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:43,934
But you sure seem to have a lot of energy
for a starving person!

255
00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:46,187
-Come on, where's your stash?
-Be more specific!

256
00:10:46,270 --> 00:10:48,564
This room is basically
nothing but contraband!

257
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:51,067
-Your food stash!
-I don't have any!

258
00:10:51,150 --> 00:10:53,277
I'm just filled
with a glowing sense of purpose.

259
00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:55,613
Now if you'll leave me to my art,

260
00:10:55,696 --> 00:10:58,282
I have to find a rhyme
with Mineral Leasing Act!

261
00:10:58,366 --> 00:11:01,369
The Crédit Mobilier scandal
would be much more compelling!

262
00:11:01,452 --> 00:11:02,536
You take that back!

263
00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:04,872
Oh, come on! Union Pacific Railroad?

264
00:11:04,955 --> 00:11:07,416
One of the central guys
was named George Train.

265
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:08,626
That writes itself!

266
00:11:08,709 --> 00:11:10,169
Nothing writes itself!

267
00:11:10,586 --> 00:11:12,380
[huffs] Don't listen to them.

268
00:11:12,713 --> 00:11:14,590
Nothing but great calls, baby Ray!

269
00:11:14,965 --> 00:11:17,051
-[munching]
-[dripping]

270
00:11:17,134 --> 00:11:18,552
God, these eggs are dynamite.

271
00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:20,554
[Krieger] Neurological dynamite, that is.

272
00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:22,890
Loaded with neurotransmitters.

273
00:11:22,973 --> 00:11:26,060
-So what do they do?
-The human brain is fiendishly complex.

274
00:11:26,143 --> 00:11:29,688
It's all neurons and electricity
and mooshy parts.

275
00:11:29,772 --> 00:11:30,731
So you don't know?

276
00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:33,734
We'd have to scan someone
while they ate one for the first time.

277
00:11:33,818 --> 00:11:35,486
But that could cause anything!

278
00:11:35,569 --> 00:11:37,738
Define "anything."

279
00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:40,533
Hmm, insanity, memory loss, death,

280
00:11:40,616 --> 00:11:44,745
or a sexual syndrome called Brainaphilia
that I just now invented.

281
00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:49,375
So, testing on a live subject
would be totally unethical.

282
00:11:50,167 --> 00:11:51,669
Let's use Cheryl.

283
00:11:51,752 --> 00:11:54,463
Wait, were we considering anything else?

284
00:11:55,172 --> 00:11:58,217
So, hitting the sauce pretty hard?

285
00:11:58,300 --> 00:12:00,970
-It's not sauce!
-I didn't think it was literally--

286
00:12:01,053 --> 00:12:04,265
-It's marinade!
-And that's how that conversation ended.

287
00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:08,352
Hey, the map thingy says
that we're flying toward the Fang Nebula.

288
00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:09,520
[Pam] So it does.

289
00:12:09,603 --> 00:12:11,730
Well, aren't there like
six overlapping wars

290
00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:12,940
going on there right now?

291
00:12:13,023 --> 00:12:14,942
Why do people rob banks, Cheryl?

292
00:12:15,359 --> 00:12:20,156
If I'm remembering this right,
it's because the action is the juice?

293
00:12:20,239 --> 00:12:22,116
Because that's where the money is.

294
00:12:22,199 --> 00:12:24,160
And if we're looking for salvage,

295
00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:29,707
you fly into the teeth of chaos
and howl at the shadow of death itself!

296
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:32,126
So say we all.

297
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:34,795
[Cyril] Greetings, rat racers.

298
00:12:34,879 --> 00:12:39,049
How does it feel to follow orders
like robots, pawns in your own lives?

299
00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:40,843
Cyril, what are you doing?

300
00:12:40,926 --> 00:12:44,555
Other than mixing metaphors
into some kind of smoothie-like paste.

301
00:12:44,638 --> 00:12:46,390
As little as possible, muchacha.

302
00:12:46,474 --> 00:12:48,142
Why aren't you scanning?

303
00:12:48,225 --> 00:12:49,935
Oh, my gosh, you're right. Hold on.

304
00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:51,562
[makes whirring noise]

305
00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:53,272
Yep, all clear.

306
00:12:53,355 --> 00:12:56,233
We're in deep space.
Nothing's ever on the scanner.

307
00:12:57,818 --> 00:13:00,988
It's all a scam to keep you busy
while they rob you of your freedom.

308
00:13:01,071 --> 00:13:04,200
Freedom to what,
become a human Jimmy Buffet B-side?

309
00:13:04,283 --> 00:13:06,410
You mean awesome and underrated?

310
00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:08,329
No. Stop twisting my words!

311
00:13:08,412 --> 00:13:11,457
-Lana, he's twisting my words!
-Can we just get to the point?

312
00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:13,250
Cyril, did you find food?

313
00:13:13,334 --> 00:13:14,585
You bet I did.

314
00:13:14,668 --> 00:13:16,086
[munches, moans]

315
00:13:16,837 --> 00:13:18,672
I came here to do two things.

316
00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:22,551
Eat eggs and nothing,
and I'm not out of either.

317
00:13:22,885 --> 00:13:23,886
Now get out.

318
00:13:25,763 --> 00:13:27,348
What is going on?

319
00:13:27,431 --> 00:13:30,476
-I know. Why am I in the hallway?
-No. That's not what I was--

320
00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:32,144
Wait, did I just do what he said?

321
00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:34,104
Oh, no! He's the alpha!

322
00:13:34,188 --> 00:13:35,564
He cares less than I do!

323
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:38,400
I-I don't wanna live
in a world where Cyril's cool!

324
00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:43,364
So, you're not worried that our crew
seems to be going insane and/or starving?

325
00:13:43,447 --> 00:13:45,741
Listen to me,
I'm talking about something important.

326
00:13:45,824 --> 00:13:48,410
My intrinsic dominance over other males.

327
00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:50,246
[chuckles] You think
he'd let me groom him?

328
00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:51,747
It's something about those eggs.

329
00:13:51,830 --> 00:13:53,290
This might be the starvation talking

330
00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:55,584
or the fact that I don't like
the looks of your feet,

331
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:58,254
but maybe we should just eat the eggs?

332
00:13:58,337 --> 00:14:01,257
Everyone's acting weird,
but I guess they're not dead, right?

333
00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:03,467
Yeah,
so what's the worst that could happen?

334
00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:04,885
Dot, dot, dot.

335
00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:08,889
How did this happen? I hate you!

336
00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:11,517
Yeah, and I don't usually have a thing
for older divorced ladies.

337
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:12,810
-Hey!
-I'm kidding.

338
00:14:12,893 --> 00:14:15,062
I totally have a thing
for older divorced ladies.

339
00:14:15,145 --> 00:14:15,980
[gasps]

340
00:14:16,063 --> 00:14:18,899
Not all the time.
It's like a-- What's the drink called?

341
00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:21,026
Like a drink you drink
between other drinks.

342
00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:23,821
Like aperitif, but not.

343
00:14:23,904 --> 00:14:26,156
God, Cyril's gonna be pissed.

344
00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:28,117
Not digestif, that's after--

345
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,077
Wait, you're sleeping with Cyril?

346
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:32,079
-And why would you care?
-I don't know!

347
00:14:32,663 --> 00:14:36,292
[sighs] I guess deep down,
I s-still care what you do.

348
00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:39,044
That's... very slightly touching.

349
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:42,381
I mean, you're my ex-wife, Lana.
What you do reflects back on me.

350
00:14:42,464 --> 00:14:45,759
Oh, this from the guy
that just called me an intermezzo!

351
00:14:45,843 --> 00:14:48,929
That's it! Intermezzo!
That was really bothering me.

352
00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:50,472
This is a nightmare!

353
00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:53,601
Talking to you is like talking
to a very selfish rock.

354
00:14:53,934 --> 00:14:56,812
-With mother issues!
-Rocks don't have moms!

355
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,898
Unless you count volcanoes.

356
00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:01,317
But speaking of things
that are hard as a rock--

357
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,402
Great segue.
That was pretty amazing, right?

358
00:15:03,485 --> 00:15:05,404
Unfortunately, yes.

359
00:15:06,196 --> 00:15:07,031
Round two?

360
00:15:07,114 --> 00:15:10,409
[kissing, moaning]

361
00:15:10,492 --> 00:15:12,453
Does it bother you that it's watching us?

362
00:15:13,287 --> 00:15:14,121
[pop]

363
00:15:15,706 --> 00:15:16,540
Why?

364
00:15:19,376 --> 00:15:21,545
[piano music playing]

365
00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:23,547
[Lana] Phew! How long do you need?

366
00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:25,341
After that sexual Iditarod?

367
00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:27,843
Two minutes, 15 seconds.

368
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:30,846
Should we maybe discuss
what's going on with the ship and, uh...

369
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,848
how we should maybe do something about it?

370
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:36,435
Now you've pushed it back to three
with all that talk, so might as well.

371
00:15:36,518 --> 00:15:38,604
-[creature moans]
-I just want to look at it!

372
00:15:38,687 --> 00:15:40,856
-Oh, my God, what's that?
-[creature squeals]

373
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:43,359
[Archer munches]
Huh. Well, I guess it was nothing.

374
00:15:43,442 --> 00:15:45,861
-[creature groans]
-Well, put a sock in it, Benedict.

375
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:49,406
You've fallen for that, like, four times.
At some point, it is your fault.

376
00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:52,576
You're calling it-- No!
I will not engage with that.

377
00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:54,870
Are you sure?
I've got a whole series of quips about it.

378
00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:57,206
We're under the influence of something,
right?

379
00:15:57,289 --> 00:15:59,792
I think we've just finally discovered
our true feelings.

380
00:15:59,875 --> 00:16:01,710
All the games can stop now.

381
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:03,462
We're gonna be together forever.

382
00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:06,382
[both laughing]

383
00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:07,299
Yeah.

384
00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:08,676
Yeah, we're egg crazy.

385
00:16:09,176 --> 00:16:13,138
Which explains why we're setting
sex records in both frequency and duration

386
00:16:13,222 --> 00:16:16,475
and probably distance,
if they measured sex in that.

387
00:16:16,558 --> 00:16:19,687
So, let's go talk to Krieger, figure out
a solution to our starvation problem

388
00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:21,647
and then get rid of these eggs.

389
00:16:21,730 --> 00:16:23,774
Or we could just have sex again?

390
00:16:23,857 --> 00:16:24,942
Yep, probably that.

391
00:16:25,025 --> 00:16:26,568
[sheets rustling]

392
00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:29,363
[munching]

393
00:16:29,446 --> 00:16:31,490
Krieger, I command that you scan me!

394
00:16:31,573 --> 00:16:34,868
-I already am!
-Because I command it! All is well.

395
00:16:34,952 --> 00:16:36,912
[Krieger] Huh, same as Gillette and Cyril.

396
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:40,249
Tough to see brain changes
with all the background egg in your blood.

397
00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:43,293
This scanner sees through clothes!
Why are we in our underwear?

398
00:16:43,377 --> 00:16:44,420
Why indeed?

399
00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:47,006
-I did it because Pam told me to!
-Hey, me too!

400
00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:50,509
-Patton couldn't lift these nuts. Hoo-ah!
-[Krieger] My current hypothesis

401
00:16:50,592 --> 00:16:53,846
is that these neurotransmitters
free you from mental blocks

402
00:16:53,929 --> 00:16:56,015
and let you pursue your deepest wishes.

403
00:16:56,098 --> 00:16:57,224
Leadership!

404
00:16:57,307 --> 00:16:59,893
-Doing nothing!
-"Off the Dome"!

405
00:16:59,977 --> 00:17:02,229
And we're married to that title?

406
00:17:02,312 --> 00:17:04,273
Do you just live in doorways now?

407
00:17:04,356 --> 00:17:06,567
Found this one nibbling on a power cord.

408
00:17:06,650 --> 00:17:09,028
What are you, part Mynock? [chuckles]

409
00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:11,739
No, I was just trying to tenderize myself!

410
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:13,115
Now who's stupid?

411
00:17:13,198 --> 00:17:15,117
Can't believe we were so wrong about you.

412
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:17,745
Cheryl, can you step in here
and put this in your mouth?

413
00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:19,872
Ha, not gonna fall for that again.

414
00:17:19,955 --> 00:17:21,832
[munching]

415
00:17:21,915 --> 00:17:22,750
Dammit!

416
00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:25,085
-[Krieger] How do you feel?
-[Cheryl] I don't feel any different.

417
00:17:25,169 --> 00:17:27,004
I mean, hmm...

418
00:17:27,087 --> 00:17:30,132
I kinda want to blow up the ship,
but I always want to do that.

419
00:17:30,215 --> 00:17:31,592
There goes your theory.

420
00:17:31,675 --> 00:17:33,594
No, I think this actually confirms it!

421
00:17:33,677 --> 00:17:37,097
Because she has no impulse control,
the eggs don't affect her!

422
00:17:37,181 --> 00:17:39,016
That's totally unfair!

423
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:40,434
[Krieger] Uh-oh.

424
00:17:40,517 --> 00:17:42,853
Seems these eggs
are also highly addictive.

425
00:17:42,936 --> 00:17:45,189
-No, they're not!
-That's ridiculous!

426
00:17:45,272 --> 00:17:48,776
Krieger, I think it's time we took a walk.

427
00:17:48,859 --> 00:17:50,569
Ooh, I love secret plans!

428
00:17:52,946 --> 00:17:54,907
-[pop]
-[Archer] Oh, God.

429
00:17:54,990 --> 00:17:57,493
-[Lana panting, moaning]
-[laughs] I just ejaculated dust,

430
00:17:57,576 --> 00:17:59,953
and I'm pretty sure it was
my own pulverized skeleton.

431
00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:01,872
One more go?

432
00:18:02,831 --> 00:18:03,999
So, hey guys.

433
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:07,336
Ugh. I would act startled,
but it would probably kill me.

434
00:18:07,419 --> 00:18:11,340
Turns out those eggs are highly addictive
and make you act out your deepest desires.

435
00:18:11,423 --> 00:18:13,509
Yeah,
that's kind of where we came out on it.

436
00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:15,260
So, if you'll excuse us?

437
00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:17,096
Please, don't mind me.

438
00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:19,932
Do we mind? I mean, I could go either way.

439
00:18:20,015 --> 00:18:21,183
Yes, we mind!

440
00:18:21,266 --> 00:18:24,728
And I mind that this ship is doomed
if no one does their jobs!

441
00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:25,854
Oh, come on. It's...

442
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:29,525
probably fine.

443
00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:32,027
But if this keeps up,
we're probably gonna die of chafing.

444
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:35,322
Pam also locked the ship onto a course
for the Fang Nebula.

445
00:18:35,405 --> 00:18:36,240
[intercom squeals]

446
00:18:36,323 --> 00:18:38,367
♪ [Ray rapping] I am Wyoming, I am home! ♪

447
00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:41,036
♪ I am America, I'm Teapot Dome! ♪

448
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:44,123
God, wow,
that is cask-strength ear poison.

449
00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:46,333
But... I'm still on the fence.

450
00:18:46,416 --> 00:18:49,044
Do you really want to live the rest
of your short life in a world

451
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,880
-where Cyril is cooler than you?
-We'll shoot the eggs into space.

452
00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:52,798
[creature squeals]

453
00:18:52,881 --> 00:18:55,801
But only if you modify Benedict
so he stops laying eggs.

454
00:18:55,884 --> 00:18:59,471
He's my friend and he's staying!
And I just realized he's probably a she.

455
00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:01,306
There's no way
for me to know if I can even--

456
00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:03,225
He'll do it or he goes in the recycler.

457
00:19:03,308 --> 00:19:04,893
But wait! What will we eat?

458
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:06,979
I cobbled together a formula
from stuff on hand

459
00:19:07,062 --> 00:19:08,564
and the regenerative DNA.

460
00:19:08,647 --> 00:19:11,066
It should provide enough nutrients
to get us to spaceport.

461
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:12,734
Really? Space goo?

462
00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:14,570
No! It's more of a slurry.

463
00:19:15,362 --> 00:19:16,613
Yeah, it's a goo.

464
00:19:16,697 --> 00:19:17,531
[doors opening]

465
00:19:20,117 --> 00:19:21,702
All right, that's the last of them.

466
00:19:21,785 --> 00:19:24,288
-Took you long enough.
-Not engaging. Not engaging.

467
00:19:24,371 --> 00:19:25,205
[blaster firing]

468
00:19:25,289 --> 00:19:26,707
Engage, MF-ers!

469
00:19:26,790 --> 00:19:28,667
You'll touch that button when I say so!

470
00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:30,544
And guess what? I won't.

471
00:19:30,627 --> 00:19:31,503
How did you find us?

472
00:19:31,587 --> 00:19:34,548
Uh, I tapped
into the shipwide surveillance system.

473
00:19:34,631 --> 00:19:36,967
Which, by the way, pretty pissed about.

474
00:19:37,050 --> 00:19:40,429
Look, we've got to get rid of these eggs,
and everything will go back to normal!

475
00:19:40,512 --> 00:19:41,555
-No!
-Screw normal!

476
00:19:41,638 --> 00:19:44,349
You think I like being
a courtesan on a salvage ship?

477
00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:46,268
I have a post-graduate degree!

478
00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:49,771
-[chuckles] What's it called? A Ph. Dong?
-That's what they call it!

479
00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:53,734
I just want to do nothing and be happy
and not get yelled at!

480
00:19:53,817 --> 00:19:55,360
And I'm good at being a captain!

481
00:19:55,444 --> 00:19:58,447
I want to take some initiative,
without this ding-dong.

482
00:19:58,530 --> 00:19:59,615
-[Ray] Hey!
-Not you!

483
00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:01,617
Doing his stupid plans!

484
00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:04,786
So, what I'm hearing is,
you want Archer to be nicer

485
00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:08,916
or, alternatively, we can die in space
as previously discussed.

486
00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:11,043
I'm thinking.

487
00:20:11,126 --> 00:20:12,336
-[smacks]
-Ow! Fine!

488
00:20:12,419 --> 00:20:14,713
Jesus, your knuckles are like filberts!

489
00:20:14,796 --> 00:20:16,548
Well, don't worry about food, because--

490
00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:18,508
[all] Yeah. Space goo.

491
00:20:18,592 --> 00:20:19,968
Aww, my moment!

492
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:22,304
[all groaning] Oh my God! The stench!

493
00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:23,597
What did you use to make it?

494
00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:25,182
Human waste and garbage?

495
00:20:25,265 --> 00:20:26,350
Hmm, not just that.

496
00:20:26,433 --> 00:20:29,478
-[groans] Okay, I'm back on the egg side.
-Seriously? What about--

497
00:20:29,561 --> 00:20:31,980
Wow! Okay. That is powerful!

498
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:33,774
Cork it, electro-nuts!

499
00:20:33,857 --> 00:20:34,691
[Archer] Phew.

500
00:20:34,775 --> 00:20:36,777
L-Look, we're all happy.

501
00:20:36,860 --> 00:20:40,489
Yes, maybe it's a shortcut,
but don't we deserve that once in a while?

502
00:20:40,948 --> 00:20:43,075
Isn't it nice just to be together?

503
00:20:43,158 --> 00:20:44,743
To not worry about the future?

504
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:48,622
Call it an intermezzo,
but... maybe it's worth it.

505
00:20:48,705 --> 00:20:50,290
Oh, that was beautiful.

506
00:20:50,374 --> 00:20:53,502
But no, I will not gorge myself
on a highly addictive substance

507
00:20:53,585 --> 00:20:56,713
while we drift into a war zone
while listening to a shitty rock musical,

508
00:20:56,797 --> 00:20:59,216
because it's insane and we will die!

509
00:21:01,802 --> 00:21:02,636
Seize her!

510
00:21:02,719 --> 00:21:04,680
-No, no, no, no...
-[all clamoring]

511
00:21:04,763 --> 00:21:06,390
-[Lana] Wait!
-[Cheryl] Hey, guys.

512
00:21:06,473 --> 00:21:09,309
[chuckles] Remember when you were happy?

513
00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:12,437
[all] No! Oh my God!

514
00:21:12,521 --> 00:21:14,189
[beeping]

515
00:21:18,610 --> 00:21:20,112
Why did you do that?

516
00:21:20,195 --> 00:21:22,781
It turns out the eggs
did unleash my deepest desire.

517
00:21:22,864 --> 00:21:24,908
It's to make you all miserable!

518
00:21:24,992 --> 00:21:26,618
-[laughing]
-[alarm blaring]

519
00:21:26,702 --> 00:21:28,912
[intercom]
Warning! Unknown vessel approaching!

520
00:21:28,996 --> 00:21:31,790
Cyril, what did we say about the scanner,
you colossal turd!

521
00:21:31,873 --> 00:21:33,917
Hey, you said you'd be nicer to me!

522
00:21:34,001 --> 00:21:35,961
-I never agreed to that!
-Yes, you did!

523
00:21:36,044 --> 00:21:38,046
[Archer] I obviously didn't mean it, Lana!

524
00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:40,632
[ship thrusters whooshing]

525
00:21:40,716 --> 00:21:41,550
Well.

526
00:21:41,633 --> 00:21:42,801
We're all gonna die.

527
00:21:42,884 --> 00:21:44,803
-Thanks, Lana!
-How is this my fault?

528
00:21:44,886 --> 00:21:47,472
I don't know,
but it feels good to say that!

529
00:21:47,556 --> 00:21:49,141
-[beeping]
-[man on speaker] Hey, guys!

530
00:21:49,224 --> 00:21:50,434
It's Captain Brett!

531
00:21:50,517 --> 00:21:52,686
Yeah,
I've been tracking you guys for a while

532
00:21:52,769 --> 00:21:55,147
and I thought you guys
might need some supplies.

533
00:21:55,230 --> 00:21:57,899
-[all cheering]
-Wait, wait, wait, wait.

534
00:21:57,983 --> 00:21:59,651
-How do we know it's Brett?
-[Brett] Ooh...

535
00:21:59,735 --> 00:22:03,071
Hold on, guys. I'm getting
something weird on my scanner here...

536
00:22:03,155 --> 00:22:04,489
Yeah, what are those?

537
00:22:04,948 --> 00:22:08,410
[Brett] Oh no. No, no! No-no-no-no-no!

538
00:22:08,493 --> 00:22:10,746
[screaming] No!

539
00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:21,840
[giggles] Yep, that-- that was Brett.

540
00:22:23,592 --> 00:22:25,677
[theme music playing]